Yuri! On Pipes
by MemeChives69
Summary: A passionate love story between a boy named Yuri and a man named Tony Hawk. Such beauty and eloquence in one story...


_Can you hear my kickflip?_

 _Tired of wipe outs never enough_

 _I kick my board and tell my brah that my dreams will skate on_

 _There'll be no more posers_

 _when you believe in your wheels you are so tubular_

 _Where your broski lies, dancing on the pipes,_

 _you set my board on fire_

 _Don't stop our grinds, the moment of truth_

 _We were born to shred history_

 _We'll make it wicked, we'll pop an ollie_

 _Yo, we were born to shred history_

 _Don't stop our grinds, the moment of truth_

 _We were born to shred history_

 _We'll make it wicked, we'll pop an ollie_

 _Yo, we were born to shred history_

It all started in an ice skating rink, where Yuri and Viktor sat, watching other ice skaters show off their moves. Viktor then turned to Yuri with a serious expression and said, "Yuri, I can't do this anymore. I love someone else, and his name is Johnu McCain~sama." Yuri then grew shocked. His eyes started to widen, showing his inner emotions commencing their crumble. "W-what? Why are you doing this? I thought you loved me, Viktor-kun." Tears started rushing down Yuri's poor face. He has completely shattered into a million pieces. He thought,"My life is over. What will I ever do without Viktor by my side? I love him." And then Viktor tapped Yuri on his trembling shoulder and said in laughter,"Hahaha, you totally fell for it. I'm just pulling your leg, silly." Yuri then rose up, blushing with embarrassment, laughing away his sadness. "Oh, Viktor-kun, you really got me there, hahahah." said Yuri in utmost relief. Viktor then whipped away his tears and said "Yeahhhhhh, but I love Winnie the fucking moo moo bear so gtfo bitch." Viktor then whipped out his Mein Kamf and banished Yuri into Hitlers wonderland called hell hell bells by acmemec. Yuri has been banished elsewhere. He had no idea where the fuck he was although he knew where he was AT THE SAME TIME. Yuri then got down to his knees and started to cry. "Nonde, nonde did Viktor-kun do this to me? I thought he loved me for who I was. He clearly wanted me for my butterfinger and I let that fucker have it :(." A humngous penis then appeared before The big ice skating mother fucker and then the pee pee body and sherman said,"I have something to show you from retardo maximus(aka viktor. If you watched the special ed ovas, retardo maximus was viktors nickname given by his father. It also mentions that his father had a huge hatred for black people, which is why viktor is white and gay). The penis then cums all over Yuri and shows a television scrren. It turns on with a video of Viktor and Winnie the goo goo doll having sex in HIS OWN BED. GET IT? BECAUSE YOU GIVE HEAD ON A BED. AHH mY DAD DOESN"T LOVE ME. Watching this made Yuri want to throw up, so he decided to masturbate to Snoopy the dog so he could get that mighty high of relief. After his beating of his big fat pitt bull puppy that he fucking hated, he cried his eyes out because his sweet little lego brick block head loved someone else. He ddin't know what to do, so he decided to suck himself dry like a vacuum cleaner, and so he did, and damn nigga he thought of Bill Bye, his childhood.(If you watched the second Avengers movie, you will get this reference. If you get it, then you're a true backstreet homosexual beaner boy. Please rate and subscribe for more family guy funny moments). After this beautiful happening, he decided to walk around this red wasteland. As he kept on walking and walking he found a portal and he opened it to find out that he has made it to planet fucking earth again. Yuri wanted to get some pussy so he could get revenge on fucking Dicktor.(Now, if you watched Yuri! The Clone Wars, then you'll get this spicy dick from santa baby. The man who will be haunting your tiddies tongiht ;a)))). He walked around because he was a homeless loser who didn't have any friewnds or family. What a bitch, amirite? I bet he did 9/11 HAAAAAAAA. As he was fucking his individual goats hidden in his scrotum, he came across a skatepark, at this skatepark he saw beautiful skateboarders that were oh my fucking jesus hot as fucking bricks.(If you have watched Donald Trump's speeches about walls, you'll get this 90s masterpiece. Rugrats saved my life lol okay dad. He approached the rink with his ass cracked like shifting tectonic plates, and he watched the skaters skate. He was amazing by their moves and this ignited a fire inside of his heart. He then made up his mind(I am sorry for the bad translations, but mind means brain so fuck you and your corpse), he got up, stabbed and brutally murdered a skateboarder and took his deck and went for a spin. He went down the most knarlyest pipes and after a second of not doing anything, he broke every single bone in his body. Yuri! On Pipes, more like, Yuri! On LIfe Support AMIRITE(CUE BIG BAND THEORY LAGHTER HAHAH SHELDON SHOULD JUST KISS ME INSIDE OF MY PROSTATE WHILE I CUM) YURI THEN THOUGHT OF WHAT WAS JUST IN PARENTASIES AND FOUND SHELDON AND FUCKED HIM TIL HE SAID,"ZIMBABWE". Yuri was hospitalized. Near the brink of death, but a doctor saved him, his name was Dr. Hawk. Yuri then woke up to Dr. Hawk staring at him. Dr. hawk looked away and blushed like a volcano."Y-YAMETEEEEEEE!" screamed dr. hawk and then he accidentally threw up spicy chicken sandwhcihes all over Yuri. Yuri got ptsd. Ten years later. Yuri woke up from a coma and saw Dr. Hawk sitting by his bed."Hey Yuri, I helped you get better. Come sakte on my dick and hope on like petter cotton butthole maximus.""Okay, cum for cum god." yuri then pulled up his big girl pantiess and went with tony to skate and hit the pipes brohizzle manizzle. Tony wanted to teach him how to do a kickflip and that's what that fucking disgusting piece of fucking rat puke did."You see brah, you have to move your foot all the way to mars and then you have to slaughter your whole family to pull it off." Yuri then realized he already did all of that shit nigga. And that's when Tony screamed NANI?! In his head. He realized that yuri was the legendary skater himself. The legandary skater himself was named after the lord jesus chirst, which was named Rob Zombie.(If you fucked you pink gerbil when you were little, you would get where I am coming from, dad). Tony went home leavin gYuri homeless again to do some research and then came back. "Yuri, i challenge you to killing yourself the fastest. Whoever wins is the best skater in the world. CApchie, you Itallian piece of baguettie spaghetti?" yuri looked determined to end his suffereing and screamed,"THE GERMANS WEREN'T RESPONSIBLE FOR THE HOLOCAUST I WAS. I DID IT. I KILLED ALL OF THOSE INNOCENT PEOPLE." That's the spirit, thought ton petty. He hanged himself in 1 milisecond but yuri beat him by a half a milisecond. Tony was shocked. So shocked that he removed his testicles out of his saC AND PUT IT IN HIS SPECIAL CHEF BOYARDEE PASTA. AH AH AH AH AH AHHHH I LOVE CUM. Thats when ZTony HAwk fell in love with yuri. He sent him to military school so he could get fuckedf by the GENREAL TO SAVE SOME TIME and so he could learn the ways of calling your little puppy big hamburger helper alziemers slut for cum. Yuri was a slut for permanent ball damage, so he deided to fuck the shit out of himself until he turned into donald trump(If you watch Dragon ball Aids, Yuri had this form called bog bog ma goo go and he used it to fuck his sister.) Tony and yuri suddenly decided to kiss. They made out for ho9ur likes holy shit. "Oh eah NIGGA GO FASTER" Said tony`kun in utmost joy. YURI THEN WISHED TONY A HAOPPY QUANZA AND STUCK CANDLES UP HIS URETHRA ASND SUMMONED ARIES TO FACE FUCK HIS PET CATS OF INDIVIDUAL RACES " TAKE THIS: THE HARDEES SUPER STAR WITH MEEMS ATTACK" HE STUCK IT UOP HISS ASS SO FAR THAT SNAKES STARTED TO SECRET FROM HIS PORES AND THEY STARTED TO FUCK YURI IN HIS EARS."iCKY STICKY GOOEY RECTUMS ARE THE BEST POKEMON TO HAVE TBH MAMA CABABA." THEY FUCKED AND DUCKED. YES THEY DUCKED. GOT A PORBLEM WITH DUCKING. TOO BAD;. P0ULL UP YOUR BIG GIRL PANTIES, SNORBFLAKE. YURI AND TONY WITH THAT FRESH PEPPERONI MADE OUT LIKE MAD MEN AND FOUGHT EACH OTHER WITH THEIR LIGHTSABER PENISES."YOU WERE THE CHOSEN ONE." SCREAMED YURI. "ITS OVER TONY, I HAVE THE HIGH GROUND." "YOU UNDERESTIMATE MY POWER, SAID TONY And then he goed to use the bathroom in the hornets stadium with kemba walker and michael jordan themselves. They were wondering why a man of vanila ice cream was in there so they decided to fuck eah other until they di8ed from pure ejaculation. Yuri and Tony layed in bed together, lauhing about the ensalvement of black people and Yuri said,"You know, a night like this should be completede by enslaving six year old koreans and forcing them to undergo deadly labor by dick thrust." "YAh brah, I totally agree with ya, i totally agree, brah.' Yuri was annoyed tbh."Tony, could you stop?" Tony then dog whistled his hounds and the mauled yuri into little pieces. Rip rip 3000-6000. You will be missed, ice skating faggot boy /3 tony killed himself because he couldn't bear the miss of his russian rouletty boyo manoyo, Vladimir Lenon(vladdy len is a reference to the hit band, _The Beatles. Because you see, Vlads last name is lenon and so was John's if you add up all of the opiueces, you asoon srtart to realizer that yor mom was the one who fucked himself to sleep with oxiclean in asshole.)_ and so this ends the story of Yuri! On Pipes. What a vampiric love story of affection and joy!~~~~! AOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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